My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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