What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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