Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
