Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize