she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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