I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize