How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Someone signed my nipple.
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