Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
