I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
