What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
