i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize