Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
how drunk are you?
Several
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
