dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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