so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
