who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
