I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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