the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
