I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
