She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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