I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we're so committed to being not committed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
