In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
