I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
