I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
