so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
