I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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