yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
