come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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