I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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