you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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