It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
