u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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