Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
