I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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