Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
