need another drink. this is the easiest way
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
whose parrot is this?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
