Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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