my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
