one two three fourrrrnication!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
