i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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