Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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