once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am available for nakedness
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
