also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
