This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Randomize
