YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
