just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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