We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
