# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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