Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
please don't ironically join a cult
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