I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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