I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
