...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
