I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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