Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
