If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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