Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
