I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You smell like stripper and shame
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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