i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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