What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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