the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
