Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
