Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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