dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
