How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
