i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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